Yes; thank Aelfric for Sigrun's swiftness, and for the quick thinking of our comrades. Nimona spiriting her away came at the exact right time.
[ they really did almost lose sigrun. they could have lost hanako, too, if the dosage of that poison had been off. they could have even lost adlet before the execution, and be left floundering in an attempt to vote for someone with mere minutes on the clock, doomed to vote away an innocent soul again.
he tilts his head to look up at him, trying to get a good read on all those vibrant emotions. the anger, the feeling of being unsettled, what feels a little like loss. it permeates the room even now. ]
Things will only get more difficult with each week that passes. This one, at least, has now passed. The day is done, and the dawn comes: another week, survived.
[ despite temenos's best cyoa effort apparently. (me voice) my crunchy rolls. ]
[ ...Not me losing track of how many close calls throughout the trial, but. Yeah, basically at least three moments (and more, let's be real) where some people might have lost their lives.
As for when he looks at Axel, those emotions remain even now. Though not like lighting a match or anything of the like. More now like embers; the dying sparks, leaving behind ash.
Something from which maybe can be born anew. A new dawn...it's not too dissimilar to the start of something new. He looks at Temenos, really looks at him, and it does occur to him how easy he could've returned to the dorm without him this week too — even before Friday came, or the trial, for that matter.
But instead, he'll be able to see the dawn of a new week with him. His expression softens, even with some turmoil remaining in his heart. ]
...Yeah? Heh, you know, some people might say that surviving isn't living.
But somehow when you put it like that, I can't think of it in that way at all. It's kind of like looking at whatever silver lining's still there. Even if it is realistic too.
[ temenos's expression goes just a little wry, to match axel's softer one from where he's settled. ] Yes, I thought you might like that. Something of a compromise.
[ there's a little huff, the corner of his mouth lifting in a faint smile. yes, it is optimistic, but it is also a simple and undeniable truth. the dawn still comes. no matter who tries to prevent it, be they the moonshade order or the machinations of the place they've all found themselves in, the dawn still comes. it always must.
maybe temenos can't be optimistic, not really. not ever, but perhaps especially not after a day like today. still: it's hard not to want to say something, watching axel go through all that turmoil, and he's quietly relieved it helped, even if it's small. ]
The two of you were friends. [ its added, after a moment - adlet and axel, that is. temenos'll open the door if he wants to talk about it. ] There is something to mourn there, beyond even the circumstances of what will come tomorrow.
[ Axel says with no small sense of satisfaction. Today's certainly been incredibly rough, and though usually he'd not want to consider his own struggles, it's been one thing after another that breezing past it is an impossibility.
Though, speaking honestly, Axel can't help but pause when the other gives the opening to speak about it. There are things he hasn't discussed, but with Temenos, he thinks he can feel free to speak his mind. So, instead of saying 'nah', he will simply hum a little, starting somewhere unorthodox (in his opinion.) ]
After what happened with Hans, we spoke at length about the trial. It wasn't anything interesting, just basically the whole entire disappointment about the results. Hans mouthed off, as we both know, and I wasn't close to him, but Adlet was to the guy in his own weird way. I suppose something should've tipped me off when he said that without Hans he couldn't have saved his world.
...But, even before that moment, he seemed like somebody I knew back home. I'd thought they were kinda similar. That he'd bounce back just like he did as long as he had friends supporting him. I'd even figured he was a kind person, who'd never do what he did today.
[ Killed a child, knocked out another child, held a mutual friend at knifepoint. ]
He was always the type of person who seemed intent on doing the right thing. On at least looking out for people, rather than just himself. Though I guess I couldn't imagine what it must be like to think the world he'd go back to was doomed.
[ like always, he listens - the first part gets a slight, small smile, and he nods his head, waiting to see if he'll continue.
and it pays off, when he does. this is an area that temenos excels in, really: listening to others, being someone to take their worries and their woes. it's a part of being a cleric, and it is something he takes genuinely to heart, despite the other often odd and occasionally unsettling parts of his personality. he is kindhearted, and he wants to help others, and someone like axel certainly deserves that.
so, he listens, quiet and thoughtful, looking over at him to watch his expression, and when he finishes, temenos reaches out to gently put a hand on his arm, a small, comforting gesture. he takes time to weigh his words carefully, before he responds. ]
...I don't think your read on him was entirely wrong, in that he is the sort to be intent on doing the 'right thing'. I just believe that perhaps his view of the 'right thing' is framed far, far differently than the way that you or I believe it to be - or what is conventionally correct.
[ because he kept saying that, during the trial. he kept talking about it, how it was justified. how he was strong, because he had to do it. it's not the right thing - in temenos' opinion, it was complete and utter cowardice - but to adlet, for whatever reason, it must have seemed that way. ]
I don't think that he necessarily put the cold and cruel logic to his decisions that one might imagine could be applied to such a callous act. Rather... I believe many of Adlet's actions today were reaction, and reaction, in the face of loss and desperation, is a powerfully strong motivator. When we lose sight of our logic, we lose sight of our minds.
[ it's a little tragic, in that regard. this is what motivates people to move to the craven and cruel. ]
I don't think any of us thought him capable of what we saw. A failing of our own, perhaps - but a collective one, Axel.
[ It's funny that Axel never really thought that going ahead and confessing such things to people would be anything close to relieving. But, it's true that there is something like that too. There's a habit of his to wonder on another level how many times Temenos has gotten to hear such words, though he understands that those in his profession often do this sort of thing.
...It's not exactly just leaning on Temenos' services in the most distant of senses, though. If that were true, he would have done it way back when there was an offer to listen to secrets or just hearing he was a priest. It's because he's Temenos, that's the heart of it.
And so, when the other leaves his hand resting on his arm, he is brought out of his head. ]
When you lay it all like that, I can't help but be kind of amazed at how you managed to basically make it sound like it makes sense—and it does.
It isn't like...
[ Axel closes his eyes. Though he trails off, there is also the implication clear; he agrees with that they all couldn't see it.
Maybe it's not worth shedding tears over. But he does anyway, looking at Temenos as wetness falls down his cheeks for the first and only time this night. But he will raise an arm to wipe at them all the same. It's fine, he just got something in his eyes, is all. ]
...Let's continue to do our best so we can end this for good. Sooner than later.
[ the first part gets a slight, small smile, partial gratitude for the compliment, partial sympathy and understanding. if there's anything he's good at, it's that. it's seeking truth, but it's guiding others to it, too. to helping them understand things that are complex and difficult, whether it's the concept of the corruption of an organization that has only ever offered hope, or to guide someone down the path of their own emotions. that's, to temenos, what being a cleric really is. it's not about the scriptures or the church, about prayers or confessional. it's about having the faith that the light of understanding can help people find their way. in his heart, he is a guide.
so, in a sense, there's a little relief on his end. that temenos can help, at least a little. and he's not sure what he's expecting, but when axel meets his gaze and he's crying, surprise flickers across temenos's face, unguarded.
...it shouldn't really be that surprising, not really. it'd be impossible not to know how big-hearted axel is. to see this affecting him this badly, to know he's putting his vulnerability forth, whether he intends to or not... well. temenos will take care of it like it's precious, shield it from the proverbial storm.
he shifts a little bit, pulling the sleeve of his coat over his good hand, and bats axel's hand away to reach up and wipe his face for him, gentle. a little fussy, even. the gesture is a bit stilted, if only because he can't use both of his hands, but he does it anyway, very carefully. ]
Yes. [ an agreement, first - yes, let's end this for good, sooner than later. let's continue to do our best. ] We shall.
There's no shame in being upset, you know. [ says temenos who has not allowed himself to feel a single emotion in like, at least twenty years of his life. do as he says not as he does. ] Mourning and loss does not always include death, whether death is soon to come or not.
[ The heart is a funny thing, isn't it? Axel remembered he used to not think too much of it at all, when he lost it himself those years back. Living so long thinking he was without one, ignoring the fact that it isn't someone can truly lose in the grand scheme of things. That it will always seek its way back, no matter what.
Being open is so easy regardless; easier always still with Temenos. Even if subconscious, even if knowingly, he understands that the other male would never think to ridicule him for his tears shed. Even if he feels kind of embarrassed by them at all.
After hearing the other man agree that they can only continue to do their best, to look forward. To put an end to this hideous spectacle... ]
...No shame, huh?
Honestly, it's pretty hard not feeling at least a bit of that. Though, I think you're not wrong either.
[ There's a small pause, thinking of the way the other's hand felt (still feels) warm, when it first reaches to brush away those tears, even if to push aside his own.
He'll reach up to lightly catch that hand within his own when he's done. ]
...Still pushing yourself, aren't you? Even just a little bit. But, you better believe I'll say I'm thankful. I'm not the kind of guy who does a lot of mourning, after all.
A lot of the times back home even when stuff got tough, I never felt like any of the worst that happened to anybody was really final. Or saw somebody I got to know go that level of crazy.
[ there's no shame in emotional openness, though, temenos himself in this case is probably better at preaching than practicing. after all, axel is one of the only people here who's seen a true display of any of his emotions - the frustration of losing his powers - and he rarely seems afflicted by anything. even today's events barely bothered him. even now, he's immovable.
but. there's a lesson to be learned from the warmth of others, and it is one he often basks in. this is no different; when axel catches his hand, he does not stop him, by now much more comfortable with the gesture. it's like having a cat, you've got to socialize them a little. ]
You don't have to thank me. [ please. gently chiding, but there's zero heat to it. ] Who would I be, were I unable to provide a bit of comfort?
Our circumstances here are particularly unique. [ that level of crazy is. unfortunately not unfamiliar to temenos, but that's a story for another day. ] So, a reaction to them is, frankly, normal. To lose a friend in this way is like a betrayal, in some sense; the person you thought you knew is dead, even if they still live.
[ And warmth, that is something Axel has to give in spades. Nothing less, nothing so small to consider it a mere ember. But, certainly not so heated to be anywhere near an open fire.
More a cozy one he is more than glad to surround Temenos within at any (reasonable) given moment. Not just as thanks, of course. ]
I guess that's a good question. But, don't think I won't show any appreciation where it's supposed to be given.
[ Axel says in a teasing tone himself, feeling...like, well. As each moment passes like the wound is less of a gaping hole. Without thinking too hard, he intertwines their fingers. ]
...Suppose you're right. And just because somebody's experienced a betrayal, doesn't always make it easier when it happens. Even if it's like this.
ah. well, okay. he tilts his fingers just a touch, enough to go with the gesture - allowing axel to lace their hands together. ]
Precisely that. [ after all, betrayal is not far from temenos's mind, either. the largest betrayer in the church was closer to him than he ever would've liked.
so. he gets it. he gives the hand in his a small squeeze. ]
I'm sorry, that it's something you had to face before this place - and that it 's come to you again. [ ... ] If you'd ever like to talk about it, I'm always here.
Never taking such touch for granted, he is going to enjoy the warmth of holding his hand for as long as he can.
The way his response follows afterwards as well? Indicates that they've got some other similarities in their pasts, he imagines. Not a great commonality to share, though enough to make him wonder...how many times has Temenos been betrayed?
Axel doesn't let his own mind wander too far, otherwise he'd get too caught up in his head. ]
Hearing you say that means a lot. [ He chuckles a little at that, actually. ] If there's anyone I'd want to hear a word about in regards to this, it'd be you. Though, the true battle might be knowing where to start.
Not to be a downer, since it wasn't exactly an apocalyptic event.
[ Axel easily allows this; it feels so comfortable now. Natural.
Though, when Temenos uses the word 'downer', that nets an amused look from Axel, a chuckle even escaping him. ]
...Yeah, I guess it is.
[ A thoughtful look comes across his face, before nodding. ]
I guess I could tell you that when I was younger, I thought it would be a good idea to sneak into a whole entire royal castle and rope my friend, Isa, into coming along.
[ okay this is kind of funny. he turns his head up to look at him, keeping their hands loosely laced together, and his expression goes mischievous as he latches onto the new conversation topic with ease. ]
Oh? You, mischievous? Now, that I could never see.
[ there's an amused little light on his face - and truthfully, he's glad to see axel leaning into something a little more normal. a marked improvement from how upset he was when they first made it back to the dorm. ]
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[ they really did almost lose sigrun. they could have lost hanako, too, if the dosage of that poison had been off. they could have even lost adlet before the execution, and be left floundering in an attempt to vote for someone with mere minutes on the clock, doomed to vote away an innocent soul again.
he tilts his head to look up at him, trying to get a good read on all those vibrant emotions. the anger, the feeling of being unsettled, what feels a little like loss. it permeates the room even now. ]
Things will only get more difficult with each week that passes. This one, at least, has now passed. The day is done, and the dawn comes: another week, survived.
[ despite temenos's best cyoa effort apparently. (me voice) my crunchy rolls. ]
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[ ...Not me losing track of how many close calls throughout the trial, but. Yeah, basically at least three moments (and more, let's be real) where some people might have lost their lives.
As for when he looks at Axel, those emotions remain even now. Though not like lighting a match or anything of the like. More now like embers; the dying sparks, leaving behind ash.
Something from which maybe can be born anew. A new dawn...it's not too dissimilar to the start of something new. He looks at Temenos, really looks at him, and it does occur to him how easy he could've returned to the dorm without him this week too — even before Friday came, or the trial, for that matter.
But instead, he'll be able to see the dawn of a new week with him. His expression softens, even with some turmoil remaining in his heart. ]
...Yeah? Heh, you know, some people might say that surviving isn't living.
But somehow when you put it like that, I can't think of it in that way at all. It's kind of like looking at whatever silver lining's still there. Even if it is realistic too.
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[ there's a little huff, the corner of his mouth lifting in a faint smile. yes, it is optimistic, but it is also a simple and undeniable truth. the dawn still comes. no matter who tries to prevent it, be they the moonshade order or the machinations of the place they've all found themselves in, the dawn still comes. it always must.
maybe temenos can't be optimistic, not really. not ever, but perhaps especially not after a day like today. still: it's hard not to want to say something, watching axel go through all that turmoil, and he's quietly relieved it helped, even if it's small. ]
The two of you were friends. [ its added, after a moment - adlet and axel, that is. temenos'll open the door if he wants to talk about it. ] There is something to mourn there, beyond even the circumstances of what will come tomorrow.
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...You know me too well.
[ Axel says with no small sense of satisfaction. Today's certainly been incredibly rough, and though usually he'd not want to consider his own struggles, it's been one thing after another that breezing past it is an impossibility.
Though, speaking honestly, Axel can't help but pause when the other gives the opening to speak about it. There are things he hasn't discussed, but with Temenos, he thinks he can feel free to speak his mind. So, instead of saying 'nah', he will simply hum a little, starting somewhere unorthodox (in his opinion.) ]
After what happened with Hans, we spoke at length about the trial. It wasn't anything interesting, just basically the whole entire disappointment about the results. Hans mouthed off, as we both know, and I wasn't close to him, but Adlet was to the guy in his own weird way. I suppose something should've tipped me off when he said that without Hans he couldn't have saved his world.
...But, even before that moment, he seemed like somebody I knew back home. I'd thought they were kinda similar. That he'd bounce back just like he did as long as he had friends supporting him. I'd even figured he was a kind person, who'd never do what he did today.
[ Killed a child, knocked out another child, held a mutual friend at knifepoint. ]
He was always the type of person who seemed intent on doing the right thing. On at least looking out for people, rather than just himself. Though I guess I couldn't imagine what it must be like to think the world he'd go back to was doomed.
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and it pays off, when he does. this is an area that temenos excels in, really: listening to others, being someone to take their worries and their woes. it's a part of being a cleric, and it is something he takes genuinely to heart, despite the other often odd and occasionally unsettling parts of his personality. he is kindhearted, and he wants to help others, and someone like axel certainly deserves that.
so, he listens, quiet and thoughtful, looking over at him to watch his expression, and when he finishes, temenos reaches out to gently put a hand on his arm, a small, comforting gesture. he takes time to weigh his words carefully, before he responds. ]
...I don't think your read on him was entirely wrong, in that he is the sort to be intent on doing the 'right thing'. I just believe that perhaps his view of the 'right thing' is framed far, far differently than the way that you or I believe it to be - or what is conventionally correct.
[ because he kept saying that, during the trial. he kept talking about it, how it was justified. how he was strong, because he had to do it. it's not the right thing - in temenos' opinion, it was complete and utter cowardice - but to adlet, for whatever reason, it must have seemed that way. ]
I don't think that he necessarily put the cold and cruel logic to his decisions that one might imagine could be applied to such a callous act. Rather... I believe many of Adlet's actions today were reaction, and reaction, in the face of loss and desperation, is a powerfully strong motivator. When we lose sight of our logic, we lose sight of our minds.
[ it's a little tragic, in that regard. this is what motivates people to move to the craven and cruel. ]
I don't think any of us thought him capable of what we saw. A failing of our own, perhaps - but a collective one, Axel.
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...It's not exactly just leaning on Temenos' services in the most distant of senses, though. If that were true, he would have done it way back when there was an offer to listen to secrets or just hearing he was a priest. It's because he's Temenos, that's the heart of it.
And so, when the other leaves his hand resting on his arm, he is brought out of his head. ]
When you lay it all like that, I can't help but be kind of amazed at how you managed to basically make it sound like it makes sense—and it does.
It isn't like...
[ Axel closes his eyes. Though he trails off, there is also the implication clear; he agrees with that they all couldn't see it.
Maybe it's not worth shedding tears over. But he does anyway, looking at Temenos as wetness falls down his cheeks for the first and only time this night. But he will raise an arm to wipe at them all the same. It's fine, he just got something in his eyes, is all. ]
...Let's continue to do our best so we can end this for good. Sooner than later.
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so, in a sense, there's a little relief on his end. that temenos can help, at least a little. and he's not sure what he's expecting, but when axel meets his gaze and he's crying, surprise flickers across temenos's face, unguarded.
...it shouldn't really be that surprising, not really. it'd be impossible not to know how big-hearted axel is. to see this affecting him this badly, to know he's putting his vulnerability forth, whether he intends to or not... well. temenos will take care of it like it's precious, shield it from the proverbial storm.
he shifts a little bit, pulling the sleeve of his coat over his good hand, and bats axel's hand away to reach up and wipe his face for him, gentle. a little fussy, even. the gesture is a bit stilted, if only because he can't use both of his hands, but he does it anyway, very carefully. ]
Yes. [ an agreement, first - yes, let's end this for good, sooner than later. let's continue to do our best. ] We shall.
There's no shame in being upset, you know. [ says temenos who has not allowed himself to feel a single emotion in like, at least twenty years of his life. do as he says not as he does. ] Mourning and loss does not always include death, whether death is soon to come or not.
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Being open is so easy regardless; easier always still with Temenos. Even if subconscious, even if knowingly, he understands that the other male would never think to ridicule him for his tears shed. Even if he feels kind of embarrassed by them at all.
After hearing the other man agree that they can only continue to do their best, to look forward. To put an end to this hideous spectacle... ]
...No shame, huh?
Honestly, it's pretty hard not feeling at least a bit of that. Though, I think you're not wrong either.
[ There's a small pause, thinking of the way the other's hand felt (still feels) warm, when it first reaches to brush away those tears, even if to push aside his own.
He'll reach up to lightly catch that hand within his own when he's done. ]
...Still pushing yourself, aren't you? Even just a little bit. But, you better believe I'll say I'm thankful. I'm not the kind of guy who does a lot of mourning, after all.
A lot of the times back home even when stuff got tough, I never felt like any of the worst that happened to anybody was really final. Or saw somebody I got to know go that level of crazy.
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but. there's a lesson to be learned from the warmth of others, and it is one he often basks in. this is no different; when axel catches his hand, he does not stop him, by now much more comfortable with the gesture. it's like having a cat, you've got to socialize them a little. ]
You don't have to thank me. [ please. gently chiding, but there's zero heat to it. ] Who would I be, were I unable to provide a bit of comfort?
Our circumstances here are particularly unique. [ that level of crazy is. unfortunately not unfamiliar to temenos, but that's a story for another day. ] So, a reaction to them is, frankly, normal. To lose a friend in this way is like a betrayal, in some sense; the person you thought you knew is dead, even if they still live.
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More a cozy one he is more than glad to surround Temenos within at any (reasonable) given moment. Not just as thanks, of course. ]
I guess that's a good question. But, don't think I won't show any appreciation where it's supposed to be given.
[ Axel says in a teasing tone himself, feeling...like, well. As each moment passes like the wound is less of a gaping hole. Without thinking too hard, he intertwines their fingers. ]
...Suppose you're right. And just because somebody's experienced a betrayal, doesn't always make it easier when it happens. Even if it's like this.
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ah. well, okay. he tilts his fingers just a touch, enough to go with the gesture - allowing axel to lace their hands together. ]
Precisely that. [ after all, betrayal is not far from temenos's mind, either. the largest betrayer in the church was closer to him than he ever would've liked.
so. he gets it. he gives the hand in his a small squeeze. ]
I'm sorry, that it's something you had to face before this place - and that it 's come to you again. [ ... ] If you'd ever like to talk about it, I'm always here.
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Never taking such touch for granted, he is going to enjoy the warmth of holding his hand for as long as he can.
The way his response follows afterwards as well? Indicates that they've got some other similarities in their pasts, he imagines. Not a great commonality to share, though enough to make him wonder...how many times has Temenos been betrayed?
Axel doesn't let his own mind wander too far, otherwise he'd get too caught up in his head. ]
Hearing you say that means a lot. [ He chuckles a little at that, actually. ] If there's anyone I'd want to hear a word about in regards to this, it'd be you. Though, the true battle might be knowing where to start.
Not to be a downer, since it wasn't exactly an apocalyptic event.
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I think, perhaps after this weekend, being a 'downer' [ a funny word that comes out of temenos's mouth. ] is more than allowed.
Perhaps we can exchange stories - something a touch, ah. Apocalyptic, for something a bit lighter, to cleanse the palate. What do you think?
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Though, when Temenos uses the word 'downer', that nets an amused look from Axel, a chuckle even escaping him. ]
...Yeah, I guess it is.
[ A thoughtful look comes across his face, before nodding. ]
I guess I could tell you that when I was younger, I thought it would be a good idea to sneak into a whole entire royal castle and rope my friend, Isa, into coming along.
no subject
Oh? You, mischievous? Now, that I could never see.
[ there's an amused little light on his face - and truthfully, he's glad to see axel leaning into something a little more normal. a marked improvement from how upset he was when they first made it back to the dorm. ]
What happened?
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Temenos even teasing gets the red head to snort. ]
A rarity for me for sure.
[ He will take any levity right about now. Axel thinks he's also done well in conveying the things he wanted to speak in confidence anyway. ]
...Well, we actually got thrown out. A lot of times. [ ... ] Did I mention we tried this multiple times?