[ the first part gets a slight, small smile, partial gratitude for the compliment, partial sympathy and understanding. if there's anything he's good at, it's that. it's seeking truth, but it's guiding others to it, too. to helping them understand things that are complex and difficult, whether it's the concept of the corruption of an organization that has only ever offered hope, or to guide someone down the path of their own emotions. that's, to temenos, what being a cleric really is. it's not about the scriptures or the church, about prayers or confessional. it's about having the faith that the light of understanding can help people find their way. in his heart, he is a guide.
so, in a sense, there's a little relief on his end. that temenos can help, at least a little. and he's not sure what he's expecting, but when axel meets his gaze and he's crying, surprise flickers across temenos's face, unguarded.
...it shouldn't really be that surprising, not really. it'd be impossible not to know how big-hearted axel is. to see this affecting him this badly, to know he's putting his vulnerability forth, whether he intends to or not... well. temenos will take care of it like it's precious, shield it from the proverbial storm.
he shifts a little bit, pulling the sleeve of his coat over his good hand, and bats axel's hand away to reach up and wipe his face for him, gentle. a little fussy, even. the gesture is a bit stilted, if only because he can't use both of his hands, but he does it anyway, very carefully. ]
Yes. [ an agreement, first - yes, let's end this for good, sooner than later. let's continue to do our best. ] We shall.
There's no shame in being upset, you know. [ says temenos who has not allowed himself to feel a single emotion in like, at least twenty years of his life. do as he says not as he does. ] Mourning and loss does not always include death, whether death is soon to come or not.
[ The heart is a funny thing, isn't it? Axel remembered he used to not think too much of it at all, when he lost it himself those years back. Living so long thinking he was without one, ignoring the fact that it isn't someone can truly lose in the grand scheme of things. That it will always seek its way back, no matter what.
Being open is so easy regardless; easier always still with Temenos. Even if subconscious, even if knowingly, he understands that the other male would never think to ridicule him for his tears shed. Even if he feels kind of embarrassed by them at all.
After hearing the other man agree that they can only continue to do their best, to look forward. To put an end to this hideous spectacle... ]
...No shame, huh?
Honestly, it's pretty hard not feeling at least a bit of that. Though, I think you're not wrong either.
[ There's a small pause, thinking of the way the other's hand felt (still feels) warm, when it first reaches to brush away those tears, even if to push aside his own.
He'll reach up to lightly catch that hand within his own when he's done. ]
...Still pushing yourself, aren't you? Even just a little bit. But, you better believe I'll say I'm thankful. I'm not the kind of guy who does a lot of mourning, after all.
A lot of the times back home even when stuff got tough, I never felt like any of the worst that happened to anybody was really final. Or saw somebody I got to know go that level of crazy.
[ there's no shame in emotional openness, though, temenos himself in this case is probably better at preaching than practicing. after all, axel is one of the only people here who's seen a true display of any of his emotions - the frustration of losing his powers - and he rarely seems afflicted by anything. even today's events barely bothered him. even now, he's immovable.
but. there's a lesson to be learned from the warmth of others, and it is one he often basks in. this is no different; when axel catches his hand, he does not stop him, by now much more comfortable with the gesture. it's like having a cat, you've got to socialize them a little. ]
You don't have to thank me. [ please. gently chiding, but there's zero heat to it. ] Who would I be, were I unable to provide a bit of comfort?
Our circumstances here are particularly unique. [ that level of crazy is. unfortunately not unfamiliar to temenos, but that's a story for another day. ] So, a reaction to them is, frankly, normal. To lose a friend in this way is like a betrayal, in some sense; the person you thought you knew is dead, even if they still live.
[ And warmth, that is something Axel has to give in spades. Nothing less, nothing so small to consider it a mere ember. But, certainly not so heated to be anywhere near an open fire.
More a cozy one he is more than glad to surround Temenos within at any (reasonable) given moment. Not just as thanks, of course. ]
I guess that's a good question. But, don't think I won't show any appreciation where it's supposed to be given.
[ Axel says in a teasing tone himself, feeling...like, well. As each moment passes like the wound is less of a gaping hole. Without thinking too hard, he intertwines their fingers. ]
...Suppose you're right. And just because somebody's experienced a betrayal, doesn't always make it easier when it happens. Even if it's like this.
ah. well, okay. he tilts his fingers just a touch, enough to go with the gesture - allowing axel to lace their hands together. ]
Precisely that. [ after all, betrayal is not far from temenos's mind, either. the largest betrayer in the church was closer to him than he ever would've liked.
so. he gets it. he gives the hand in his a small squeeze. ]
I'm sorry, that it's something you had to face before this place - and that it 's come to you again. [ ... ] If you'd ever like to talk about it, I'm always here.
Never taking such touch for granted, he is going to enjoy the warmth of holding his hand for as long as he can.
The way his response follows afterwards as well? Indicates that they've got some other similarities in their pasts, he imagines. Not a great commonality to share, though enough to make him wonder...how many times has Temenos been betrayed?
Axel doesn't let his own mind wander too far, otherwise he'd get too caught up in his head. ]
Hearing you say that means a lot. [ He chuckles a little at that, actually. ] If there's anyone I'd want to hear a word about in regards to this, it'd be you. Though, the true battle might be knowing where to start.
Not to be a downer, since it wasn't exactly an apocalyptic event.
[ Axel easily allows this; it feels so comfortable now. Natural.
Though, when Temenos uses the word 'downer', that nets an amused look from Axel, a chuckle even escaping him. ]
...Yeah, I guess it is.
[ A thoughtful look comes across his face, before nodding. ]
I guess I could tell you that when I was younger, I thought it would be a good idea to sneak into a whole entire royal castle and rope my friend, Isa, into coming along.
[ okay this is kind of funny. he turns his head up to look at him, keeping their hands loosely laced together, and his expression goes mischievous as he latches onto the new conversation topic with ease. ]
Oh? You, mischievous? Now, that I could never see.
[ there's an amused little light on his face - and truthfully, he's glad to see axel leaning into something a little more normal. a marked improvement from how upset he was when they first made it back to the dorm. ]
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so, in a sense, there's a little relief on his end. that temenos can help, at least a little. and he's not sure what he's expecting, but when axel meets his gaze and he's crying, surprise flickers across temenos's face, unguarded.
...it shouldn't really be that surprising, not really. it'd be impossible not to know how big-hearted axel is. to see this affecting him this badly, to know he's putting his vulnerability forth, whether he intends to or not... well. temenos will take care of it like it's precious, shield it from the proverbial storm.
he shifts a little bit, pulling the sleeve of his coat over his good hand, and bats axel's hand away to reach up and wipe his face for him, gentle. a little fussy, even. the gesture is a bit stilted, if only because he can't use both of his hands, but he does it anyway, very carefully. ]
Yes. [ an agreement, first - yes, let's end this for good, sooner than later. let's continue to do our best. ] We shall.
There's no shame in being upset, you know. [ says temenos who has not allowed himself to feel a single emotion in like, at least twenty years of his life. do as he says not as he does. ] Mourning and loss does not always include death, whether death is soon to come or not.
no subject
Being open is so easy regardless; easier always still with Temenos. Even if subconscious, even if knowingly, he understands that the other male would never think to ridicule him for his tears shed. Even if he feels kind of embarrassed by them at all.
After hearing the other man agree that they can only continue to do their best, to look forward. To put an end to this hideous spectacle... ]
...No shame, huh?
Honestly, it's pretty hard not feeling at least a bit of that. Though, I think you're not wrong either.
[ There's a small pause, thinking of the way the other's hand felt (still feels) warm, when it first reaches to brush away those tears, even if to push aside his own.
He'll reach up to lightly catch that hand within his own when he's done. ]
...Still pushing yourself, aren't you? Even just a little bit. But, you better believe I'll say I'm thankful. I'm not the kind of guy who does a lot of mourning, after all.
A lot of the times back home even when stuff got tough, I never felt like any of the worst that happened to anybody was really final. Or saw somebody I got to know go that level of crazy.
no subject
but. there's a lesson to be learned from the warmth of others, and it is one he often basks in. this is no different; when axel catches his hand, he does not stop him, by now much more comfortable with the gesture. it's like having a cat, you've got to socialize them a little. ]
You don't have to thank me. [ please. gently chiding, but there's zero heat to it. ] Who would I be, were I unable to provide a bit of comfort?
Our circumstances here are particularly unique. [ that level of crazy is. unfortunately not unfamiliar to temenos, but that's a story for another day. ] So, a reaction to them is, frankly, normal. To lose a friend in this way is like a betrayal, in some sense; the person you thought you knew is dead, even if they still live.
no subject
More a cozy one he is more than glad to surround Temenos within at any (reasonable) given moment. Not just as thanks, of course. ]
I guess that's a good question. But, don't think I won't show any appreciation where it's supposed to be given.
[ Axel says in a teasing tone himself, feeling...like, well. As each moment passes like the wound is less of a gaping hole. Without thinking too hard, he intertwines their fingers. ]
...Suppose you're right. And just because somebody's experienced a betrayal, doesn't always make it easier when it happens. Even if it's like this.
no subject
ah. well, okay. he tilts his fingers just a touch, enough to go with the gesture - allowing axel to lace their hands together. ]
Precisely that. [ after all, betrayal is not far from temenos's mind, either. the largest betrayer in the church was closer to him than he ever would've liked.
so. he gets it. he gives the hand in his a small squeeze. ]
I'm sorry, that it's something you had to face before this place - and that it 's come to you again. [ ... ] If you'd ever like to talk about it, I'm always here.
no subject
Never taking such touch for granted, he is going to enjoy the warmth of holding his hand for as long as he can.
The way his response follows afterwards as well? Indicates that they've got some other similarities in their pasts, he imagines. Not a great commonality to share, though enough to make him wonder...how many times has Temenos been betrayed?
Axel doesn't let his own mind wander too far, otherwise he'd get too caught up in his head. ]
Hearing you say that means a lot. [ He chuckles a little at that, actually. ] If there's anyone I'd want to hear a word about in regards to this, it'd be you. Though, the true battle might be knowing where to start.
Not to be a downer, since it wasn't exactly an apocalyptic event.
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I think, perhaps after this weekend, being a 'downer' [ a funny word that comes out of temenos's mouth. ] is more than allowed.
Perhaps we can exchange stories - something a touch, ah. Apocalyptic, for something a bit lighter, to cleanse the palate. What do you think?
no subject
Though, when Temenos uses the word 'downer', that nets an amused look from Axel, a chuckle even escaping him. ]
...Yeah, I guess it is.
[ A thoughtful look comes across his face, before nodding. ]
I guess I could tell you that when I was younger, I thought it would be a good idea to sneak into a whole entire royal castle and rope my friend, Isa, into coming along.
no subject
Oh? You, mischievous? Now, that I could never see.
[ there's an amused little light on his face - and truthfully, he's glad to see axel leaning into something a little more normal. a marked improvement from how upset he was when they first made it back to the dorm. ]
What happened?
no subject
Temenos even teasing gets the red head to snort. ]
A rarity for me for sure.
[ He will take any levity right about now. Axel thinks he's also done well in conveying the things he wanted to speak in confidence anyway. ]
...Well, we actually got thrown out. A lot of times. [ ... ] Did I mention we tried this multiple times?